(by Woody Guthrie / additional lyrics by RK)

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(by Jonathan Richman)

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(Traditional / additional lyrics by RK)

If the river was grape juice and I was a duck
I’d dive to the bottom and I’d never come up
Tell me, how long do I have to wait?
Can I get some grape juice now or do I have to wait?

If the river were grape juice, you know, the purple kind?
You could catch me swimmin’ in it anytime
Tell me, how long do I have to wait?
Can I get some grape juice now or do I have to wait?

I was born in Alabama but raised in Tennessee
If you don’t like my peaches don’t shake my tree
Tell me, how long do I have to wait?
Can I get some peach juice now or do I have to wait?

A nickel is a nickel and a dime is a dime
I got a house full of children, not one of them mine
Tell me, how long do I have to wait?
Can I get some coconut juice now or do I have to wait?

I was standing on the corner, looking as far as I could see
Some other man’s got my girl and blues got me
Tell me, how long do I have to wait?
Can I get some blueberry juice now or must I hesitate?

I got the hesitation socks, I got the hesitation shoes
I believe to my soul I got the hesitation blues
Tell me, how long must I have to wait?
Can I get some carrot-apple-beet-ginger juice now?
How about some wheatgrass juice?
Mosquito juice?
Dinosaur juice?
Kiwi juice?
Okay, can I get some grape juice now or must I have to wait?

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(by Elizabeth Cotton / additional lyrics by RK)

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I was just relaxing in the tub
When things got pretty strange
I heard a sound like “bubleeblub-blub”
And something was coming out of the drain
I said, Hark! Who goes there?
Well I cleared away some bubbles
And I thought, Man I’m in trouble
It was a shark, a hammerhead

And he said, Shampoo me…

Well I didn’t want to get my hand anywhere near a shark’s face
Because I heard a shark has sharp teeth and he could bite your hand right off
So I started to come up with excuses to get myself out of the situation

And I said, But you’re already clean
From swimming in the sea
He said, Man, have you even seen
How dirty the ocean is lately?
Then I said, But you got no hair
And he said, Neither do you
But in the corner over there
There’s a big bottle of shampoo
I said, Why can’t you shampoo yourself?
He said I got no fingers only fins
They’re second-stringers
And that’s why there’s a favor you’re gonna do me…

Shampoo me…

So if you’re ever relaxing in your tub
And things turn pretty strange
If you hear some sound like “blubbedyblubblub”
And you feel something comin’ out of your drain
Just say, Hark! Who goes there?
And if you clear away some bubbles
Don’t worry you’re not in trouble
if it’s a shark, a hammerhead
Just do what he says if he says

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(by Jimmie Davis & Charles Mitchell)

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I was playin’ in my backyard when I looked up into the air
I saw a mosquito hoverin’ around my head
He said, “I like the smell of your hair”
Then he landed right next to me
And he alighted on my arm
I said, “Hello Mr. Mosquito
I hope you don’t mean to do me any harm”
He said, “No, I’m not gonna do you any harm
I’m just gonna suck some of your blood
Now hold still. It shouldn’t even really hurt”
I said, “What? You’re not gonna suck my blood
No way, Jose.” And I flicked him in the dirt

Well he must have flown out of the dirt
While I was slidin’ down the slide
Because when I got to the bottom he was right there waitin’
And he said, “You can play but you can’t hide”
Then he flew onto my back
I couldn’t see him back there
I was trying to see him
I was twirlin’ around and around
Then I saw him
He was right there on the back of my shoulder
And I said, “Hey, Mr. Mosquito! Get down!”
He said, “Oh, you want me to ‘get down’? Okay”
And he started dancin’
He boogied on back to my back
He did the Tango up my neck and did the Hustle on my head
And said, “Now I’m gonna bite you, Jack”
I said, “My name’s not Jack. It’s Randy.
And I’m not gonna let you have even one little drop of my blood.”
He said, “Oh yeah? That’s what you think.
I’m gonna bite you right now.”
But before he could do it
I flicked him in the mud!

Flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flica-flick
Flick that mosquito in the mud

Flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flica-flick
Don’t let him suck your blood.

Well later on I was playing in the sandbox
I was hogging all the shovels and the pails
I was buildin’ a great big building out of sand
But it wasn’t a sand castle. It was a mosquito jail
I said, “Mr. Mosquito, wherever you are
You know you’ve caused me so much heartache
Stress, sorrow, and strife
That the next time I see you I’m gonna capture you
I’m gonna throw you in this jail for life”
Then I heard kind of a mixture of a flappin’ and a buzzin’ sound
I looked to my left, I looked to my right
No one was around
It was kind of like this: “bzzzzzz, twszzzzzp, zzzztwsssszzzzz.”
But it wasn’t that loud
I thought, Maybe it’s comin’ from far away
From the mosquito’s hideout.
Maybe he’s hidin’ out up there in the clouds!
And I was right. Because when I looked up I saw him.
He came swoopin’ on down through the sky.
It looked like he was heading right for my head
It looked like he was gonna land right on my right eye
So I put out my arm to block him
But he landed on my hand
He said, “Now I’m mad and I’m really gonna bite you!”
But before he could do it I flicked him in the sand.

Flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flica-flick
Flick that mosquito in the mud
Flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flica-flick
Don’t let him suck your blood.

Flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flica-flick
Flick that mosquito in the m-m-m-m-mud
Flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flicka-flica-flick
Don’t let him
Don’t let him
Don’t ever let him suck your blood!

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(by Harold Arlen & E.Y. Harburg)

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(by Arlo Guthrie / additional lyrics by RK)

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(by Earl Robinson & E.Y. Harburg / additional lyrics by RK)

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There's a roach on my ceiling
He's too high to reach
There's a roach in my garbage
Resting on the pit of a peach

There's a roach in my hat
Soon he'll be in my hair
There's a roach in my closet
He's trying on my underwear

There's a roach on my counter
He's checking out my grocery list
There's a roach on my bookshelf
Reading Metamorphosis

There's ten roaches in my sink
Baby roaches I might add
And their mother's in my shower
Living in my loofah pad

There are roaches in my walls
I can't see them but I know they're there
If I had x-ray vision
I think it would be more than I could bear

There's a roach on my carpet
If I squoosh him he’ll be a stain
If I catch him, though, can I kill him?
I wonder if he feels any pain

All the roaches in my apartment
Are moving their antennas around
And I know what they're saying
Their voices got a high-pitched sound like this

We'll be here tomorrow
Just like yesterday
We'll be here forever
'Cause we're immune to all your poisons
And your traps and your sprays

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(by Randy Kaplan & Brian Schey)

He's mostly yellow
But deep down inside
He's a basketball player
Unemployed

Froot-Loop ankles
He's feathery and
An invisible elephant
Is his best friend

He never hatched
He never flew
He's mostly yellow
And just a little blue

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(Traditional / additional lyrics by RK)

I went out the other day to have lunch. And I walked a really long distance just to get to my favorite restaurant. I walked, let me see, six, seven, eight … nineteen blocks. And I got almost all the way there when I realized I’d forgotten my wallet! I had no money with me whatsoever. Well, I couldn’t go all the way home to get some money because I was hungry. I mean, I was absolutely starving. Going home just wouldn’t do. And then I saw it. On the ground right in front of me was a shiny nickel. I picked it up and I thought, Now, now, now I can get some food! But then the thought struck me, Where am I gonna find something to eat for a nickel? And I had a bigger problem. This was no ordinary nickel. This nickel had a hole right through the middle of it. Now not only did I have to find lunch for five cents. I had to find lunch for five cents with a hole in the middle of it! I didn’t know what I was gonna do. But then an idea came to me and I hatched a brilliant plan. And I’ll tell you what I did …

Well, I walked around the corner
And I walked around the block
I walked right into a donut shop
And I picked up a donut
And I licked off the grease
And I handed the lady my five cent piece

Well, she looked at the nickel
And she looked at me
And she said
This nickel is no good for me
There’s a hole in the middle
And it goes right through
I said
Lady, there’s a hole in the donut, too.

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(by Mick Jagger & Keith Richards / additional lyrics by RK)

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(by Randy Kaplan & Mike West)

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(by Charles Strouse & Lee Adams)

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(by Woody Guthrie / additional lyrics by RK)

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